Archive for July, 2007
I’m still working through the bugs and the jitters. My director eye, sees some improvements, but hey, it’s the first one right!
It took me over 4 or 5 takes for this video, how many do you all do?
I again want to thank all those that posted and emailed positive encouragment.
Enjoy.
You’ve all convinced me, I’m gonna Vlog. But it’s not easy getting started! It’s taking so long, I’m going into entry withdraw. I just had to post something to my loyal readers. Thanks Barb! (She scolded me that I didn’t have a post up last Saturday, so I called her a couple of days later asking, did you read my blog this morning, she didn’t, I got to scold back).
It took an entire day to figure out what would be my debut Vlog. I thought about a simple introduction, naw. I thought of a few funny CODA stories, naw. Ah, I’ve finally got my topic! The script is in my head and I am ready!
Yesterday, I went to Office Max, bought a Logitech Communicate STX webcam. Yes, it was the cheapest one, but still about 50 bucks. I set everything up without any trouble. It also has a microphone in it, cool; I can sign and talk at the same time. I thought this would save my captioning problem for a while. I was getting excited. Everything was set up, webcam is in place, I hit “capture”, the green light cued me I looked fantastic on camera, I raised my hands, started a test ….and then.. … it looked like a big flash of blur in front of my face. I tried to slow down, but now I just looked stupid. It was as if, I had known sign language 20 years ago, never used it, and had to think… each .. and .. every…word… out. It was still blurry. I know it can be done! Other Vlogs are CLEAR. Even fast signers, like Seek Geo and True CODA Stories. (Ok guys are ya feeling the love, I need some love in return!).
I played with the settings, every one of them, picture range thingy that says 320xwhatever, 176×144 with frame speeds and outputs for broadband to high quality. I clicked every one of them. Some said. No luck!
Conclusion? My Windows XP (2000) and the web cam, wasn’t going to work. I even tried using my brand new laptop with built in webcam and the new one. No luck, still blurry.
I’ve asked for a digital camcorder for my birthday. (It’s Monday, July 16th, I’ll accept from anyone, I’m not prejudice.) but when I researched it, what kind should I get? I feel like I have been in a technological cave for years. I didn’t know there were so many options. There is the DV the miniDV and the old fashioned tapes. I want something that has a USB, no tapes, no CDs. It’s all just too confusing! I know it’s out there, I just gotta find it, oh but I don’t want to pay $1000 for it either!
So in the meantime, I will be recording on my video cam. It’s old, an analog. I have a converter, which will change the analog into digital onto my computer, then from there edit, because I know that I will need to touch up my pretty face, possibly black out the background to prevent you from seeing the loads of paperwork piling up. From there, upload it, find the code, embed it into my wordpress and viola! Whew. Yea, I’m sure once it’s up, it’ll be a snap.
I have seen many of the vlogs on DeafRead along with others. Some of them are really mesmerizing and I do enjoy them quite a bit. I’ve been inspired since watching the Olson brothers, TRUE CODA STORIES, I want to tell mine too. Perhaps it might set off a huge influence for other Codas to break into vlogging.
(Note: For those that are not aware, a “Vlog” is a video. You press play and watch in ASL. )
There’s some problems. I don’t really know the best way to do the vlog, I can figure it out. My laptop has a webcam built in. I’m pretty internet/technology savvy, but there is something much more than that…my brain works in a mysterious way.
I feel like I have to gussy up for the camera. Sigh…I’m gonna have to put on makeup…make sure the backdrop is appropriate, (there is no filming in the bedroom, just the office)…find the right lighting, so you can see my expressions. I know it will take me 3 or 4 takes before I get it right. I might have to do some editing. Perhaps add some graphics and some fade outs.
Then there is the, I can’t please everyone issue. Some of my friends read this that do not live in the US. So they are not familiar with ASL. Then there are my others friends that do not sign at all or just the basics. I could caption it. Or should I type out the story? Oh, I can see where this might just get outta hand for me. See! I’ve got questions… so, can I turn to you veterans? Would you be able to share some encouragement, tips, or tricks? Hopefully making my venture into vlogging a bit easier? What do you find works the best? What program do you use? Youtube? Something else?
This is how my mind works. Thank you in advance for your time.
Ahh, Chicago! It’s really a Love/Hate relationship. I love everything this town has to offer. Everything, except the traffic! Overall, the 36 hour event was terrific. We got a hotel downtown at a bargain. I’ve found booking on Priceline.com will give you an excellent rate at the last minute. We checked in, freshened up and hit the public transit to Wrigleyville. It’s been awhile since I’ve had to navigate downtown and learned the station I wanted was closed. We got off a bit early, and instead of hailing a taxi, my friend Lori says, let’s take that. That? It was a pedi-bike. It looks like a rik-shaw. It was actually very fun, after getting over the weirdness of someone carting us around.
We arrived at Uncommon Ground restaurant. My friends had scored an awesome table outside. We hugged, sat down and chatted. It was if no time had passed in the last 6 months that I had seen them. The food was fabulous. It was time to got to the theater around the corner. We arrived 30 minutes early, sat in the front row (of 4 rows) and stayed late. Sound familiar? Arlene was so beautiful. The performance was moving, due to our common bond of having Deaf parents. Truly vivid and brillant.
Above is Shirley, Nancy, John, Arlene, Vince, Me, Laura and Barb.
Note: to view the pictures better, click on them.
What I find mesmerizing, is in this big bustling city, I was sitting in a small theater. One block away 40,000 people were at The Police concert and on the south side a Sox Game was going on. Throw in the gazillion other things to do, other plays, bars, restaurant, and the Taste of Chicago calculates to be great deal of people. I find that no matter where you are, a small town or a huge city. It all comes down to the company you are with, making it the best place to be. Thanks for a great evening.
My friend Arlene Malinowski, a Coda, will be performing at the Live Bait Theater. I am so excited to be making the 3.5 hour journey (one hour added due to traffic). Tonight there is a group going, and I know there was a group of Codas yesterday too. When you get together with Codas, plan to laugh for a good long time. We are just as bad as our parents, unable to say good bye at a reasonable time, and having to stand in the doorway for another hour with more news and more hugs. Some of us are really bad, staying ‘til 3 or 4 in the morning! I remember one day about 5 years ago. I was feeling a bit homesick or down. I felt like I needed a Coda fix. I didn’t think much of it but mentioned it to a close Coda friend. That night I had a bunch of Codas over, they brought food, we hung around sharing stories and talking. It was amazing how they come into your home and make you feel welcome, in your own home. It was similar to another recent experience. Last February I organized a weekend Coda getaway. The Saturday dinner was in my home, it was amazing how my home exploded with Codas. They all carpooled from the hotel, made their way in the door, found a glass, poured their wine, made them selves at home and I didn’t have to stress. It is a fantastic feeling to hosts Codas in your home. You should try it (wink, wink).
Ok, off I go, I’ll be sure to have an update and possibly a picture of tonight’s show. I’ll be dining before the show with Codas and I’m sure up late with Codas. Where there is one, there are more. I also am very excited (without hubby and kids, woo hoo) to see Arlene’s performance. It’s a Coda topic too. Till Deaf Do Us Part by Arlene Malinowski – Is “happily ever after” possible with Deaf parents, a flustered fiancée’ and a pre-wedding fiasco?
For a very long time, I didn’t have a dream. It’s almost sad. I was confused on what defined a dream and what was expected of me to do. Graduate college, get married, have a family.
My husband is a dreamer. Thank goodness. Because of him, I’m able to see what believing in your dreams looks like. Up until now, I was living vicariously through him. My husband, who is Deaf, dreamed of being a pilot. But for years, he was told NO, due to his Deafness. Last year, he stumbled upon Deaf Pilots Association and ever since has been working on his pilot’s license. He is on track of obtaining his private pilot license this year. His biggest dream is becoming a reality.
I tried to reflect and pinpoint, did I ever have a dream? What was my dream? Why did I not pursue them? I keep coming back to one very vivid memory in my mind. The actual event probably was about 5 seconds of my life, but I have carried it with me for a very long time.
My brother and I were the only hearing kids with Deaf parents in our neighborhood. Actually, during our entire primary education. I’m the oldest, by two years. During elementary school, I got teased because of my parents. They would mimic their voices, act really stupid and laugh at me. I was such a sensitive girl. I didn’t have a scar on my heart before these kids got to me. I was so innocent and trusting. I couldn’t believe these kids were talking about my parents, I would cry. I just couldn’t contain it. My crying only resulted in more teasing. My brother, who is two years younger than I, was “cool”. To my knowledge he was never teased. He seemed pretty popular actually.
I can remember thinking in 6th grade- Junior High is going to be different. I’ll be able to start fresh. New kids from migrating from different schools. When I arrived to junior high, a few kids didn’t want me to start fresh. During this year, was very difficult. Kids shared with others my history, my sensitivity. They knew I was a “crybaby”. I remember it being pretty tough at times. It did start to get better and by the time I was a freshman in High School the teasing seemed to stop. However, my self-esteem was crushed. The damage had been done. People had already made their opinions of me. I was very timid, shy and withdrawn during this time.
The 5 seconds I pinpoint of having a small dream was during my sophomore year. I really wanted to audition for a play. I have no idea what play it was, but auditions were being held after school. I never told anyone my desire to try out. I remember walking past the front office from my locker, on my way out. The auditorium was across a wall of doors that led to the parking lot. I was walking in the middle of the 4 foot wide hall way. The doors to the auditorium were closed, except for one. As I walked past the door, it was only natural to glance to the right. Just like when you are driving a car and you glance to the driver in the next car. As I glanced, my steps stopped. I found my eyes had adjusted perfectly to the stage, where one dim light was shining on a female student, Melanie. I saw her, at just a glance, and my body just froze. The feeling I had was awe and envy. I was not in awe of her talent, but that she was putting herself out there. I wasn’t envious that she would ultimately get the part, but the envy of having the nerve to try out.
I remembered feeling the teasing had just stopped, I didn’t want to start all over again. I couldn’t bear it for the remainder of my high school sentence.
I put that dream of performing out of my mind. Technically it was forgotten. During college, I learned to breathe a bit better. No one knew me! I didn’t have to tell anyone about my parents. I attended numerous colleges and universities trying to find my occupation. I graduated, worked as a paralegal, became a mother, stayed home to raise my children only to find, I don’t have a dream.
I live in a small town, we moved here 2 years ago, from Chicago. In my small town of 35,000, we have an active theater community. Last fall, I saw an ad in our local paper for auditions. Immediately, I knew I was going to try out, regardless of being cast. I was going to try out! I wanted the experience. To my amazement, I was cast as one of the 5 ladies for Vagina Monologues. It was a tremendous experience that had us performing 11 sold out shows. We were also hired at another community theater one hour from here, another 2 performances. A total of 13 shows! I had a bit of the bug, so I went on to do another audition, this time through the community college. Prior to being cast with three small parts in Nickel and Dimed, the director sent me an email. He thought I had a strong read and considered me for the lead role. Since it was a college production, the part needed to go to an able student first. I totally understood, and he could have been trying to make me feel better about the three parts, he succeeded. I was on cloud nine.
I still don’t have a dream, but I am beginning to define it. I know it is within the arena of performing, whether it is a speaker, an actress on the side or something more. It feels great.
I don’t know if my parents had the tools to be encouraging in my dreams. Perhaps being raised in the 1960’s, they were not encouraged to envision dreams. To see BIG dreams and go for it. They certainly understood goals. They understood the nature of being hard working. They understood what others explained a good life looks like. Go to school, get a job, have a family. I certainly can’t blame anyone. I can only learn. I’ve learned if I see a speck of interest in anything from my children, I’m going to let them explore that passion. It may result in their wildest dreams.
As a side note, I googled that female performer. She is doing theater in California.
What’s your dream?
On yesterday’s afternoon break, I took the kids to the library. While I was there, I decided to pick up some fun reading (rather than the reading I have been doing to launch my own business). My logic was, reading some books by other Codas might trigger some blog entries. I put in the search engine for the computer catalog and I couldn’t come up with much. Luckily I remembered Lou Ann Walker, A Loss for Words (by the way, I’m on page ten; I’ve gotten teary eyed twice). Thank goodness my overwhelmed brain could remember Lou Ann Walker. If I hadn’t I would have been empty handed.
When you search in the subject category for Deaf parents and hearing children it results with Deaf children and parenting. Other searches were about language. Basically, if you don’t have any Authors or Titles, you spend a great deal of time searching on the library’s system. So, now I have to go find my list, I know there is a list out there of books written by Codas. If you know of one, let me know. I am aware of In This Sign by Joanne Greenberg. This just gives me one more reason to believe, there is a long way to go before Coda can be known as its own culture. It is a culture, we are hearing, but we live in a Deaf household.
Note: When I get that list, I’ll be sure to post an update.
Went to the lake over the weekend, it was beautiful. I’d love to stay there for an entire week at a time, but since there isn’t internet connection, I’d go bonkers. I also went bonkers on a different level. Since I recently wrote about stomp..stomp, I was highly annoyed by how much my husband doesn’t respond to my stomping feet. Turns out, he feels it but thought it was the kids playing, so he ignored it. Men!
Do you know about Reticular Activating System (RAS)? I just learned about it last year, it’s a fancy big scientific explaination on how your brain works. Well at least in one way. I found something that is both eduational and entertaining http://www.thinkarete.com/wisdom/works/notes/1434/ I found it fascinating! Googl it, if you need more detailed information.
It’s amazing how once you talk about something or learn something new, you just notice it everywhere. It’s like when you buy a new car, you happen to notice them everywhere. My first car was a Dodge Omni. Since I’m not into cars, I didn’t know what one was, never saw one until I got it for my birthday. After that, I noticed them everywhere. When I was in college, a topic would be discussed in my psychology course and then come full circle in my math class. Or how I didn’t notice other pregnant women until after I was pregnant. Now, I zone in on them when one is around. Maybe it’s fear that it will be contagious!
All my life, when people learned that I either had Deaf parents or a Deaf husband, they would instantly say, “I wish I learned sign language”, or “I have always wanted to learn sign language.” Others tell me they know someone that is Deaf. Their nephew, niece, friend’s brother, friend’s parents (which I quickly ask who, perhaps I know them) or a neighbor. Perhaps to them, this is RAS.
It’s very hard to see the point of view from the hearing world. I couldn’t dream of not knowing the Deaf culture or Coda culture. Do hearing people notice Deafness? Do Deaf people notice Codas? How can we get their brains to keep active with Deaf culture needs and Coda culture needs? The media? They certainly have a great deal of influence over the general public. It’s almost scary. We sure notice the hype over the Iphone, Windows Vista or dare I say Paris Hilton.
In the link above, it talks about writing a goal and setting off triggers for your brain to pay attention. One of my goals for this blog; is to outreach while being an active, informative, and enjoyed blog all over the world. There, I said it, it’s written down.
Now that you have heard of Coda, did you notice it anywhere else?
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